On the 15th March I will be getting my bowel removed, people have been asking how I am feeling about it all... and to tell you the truth there are so many emotions going through my mind that I really don't know how to answer this question but I am going to try and answer it as best as I can.
I am scared, this surgery is incredibly high risk, we don't know if I will come through it but this surgery is needed- I don't have another option. I am scared of leaving those I love behind, I don't want my mum to have to go on without me, I am scared of this surgery not helping as much as we are hoping it will and going through all of this for nothing- but I can't go on like this and not at least tried to improve my life.
I am excited, I am excited about the prospect of a better life, I am excited about the prospect of less abdominal pain.
I am hopeful, I am hopeful that this will help and that this will be the best thing that I could have done for myself.
I am at peace. I am at peace that God knows what he has in store for me, I am at peace that my surgeon is amazing and is going to do everything in her power to help me.
Thank you to everyone for caring so much about me and asking how I am. I really appreciate it.
I will probably do some more blog posts as the surgery gets closer... 1 week today until surgery!!
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